Saturday, July 30th

July 30, 05
mood: Deep Dark Pit (Need I Say More?)
Things didn't get any better with Nick. He told me that he wanted to take a break because he just didn't want to see me for a while. Then he said that he wanted to be in a normal 17 year old relationship where he only sees his girlfriend like two times a week and talks on the phone like three times a week. Does that sound like it's even worth it? I didn't think so.
Then he said he was going to be friends with his old friend Jenna again. I hate her more than the guy who practically raped one of my best friends. He talked to her for like three hours on the phone.
I thought everything was perfect besides our stupid fights I had no idea things were so bad. I don't feel like anything is ever going to be okay again.
Last night I talked to him (in person) and we sort of worked out a seeing eachother schedule. We decided that we won't plan ahead of time when we'll see eachother. We're going to take it day by day. I'm not happy about that. After a year of Nick telling me he loved me and saying he only wanted to be with me and me not reciprocating I thought I was the most important thing to him.
Apparently, I'm not worth not being friends with Jenna. When we talked he said that he was still going to be friends with her. He's not, however, going to spend the night at her house anymore or hang out at her house.
It's not good enough though. God, I just don't know what to do. I want to go to bed, sleep for a week and wake up with everything being okay again.
Andrea spoke at 01:00 PM

Friday, July 29th

July 29, 05
mood: Warm and Fuzzy
I'm so happy. Remember when I was "suggesting" that I wanted a layout featuring Sarah Michelle Gellar? Well, I actually got it. Paige at starless-eyes made it for me. BTW, yes that is my ex-hostee and yes, she has a freaking awesome site so go visit.
On a sadder note: Today I had every intention of calling Nick and breaking up with him. He's been a bitch lately and I was going to tell him to get his crap together and call me when he was normal again. However, I read one of those stupid email forwards where you have to answer all those questions about yourself and Nick just happened to be the one who had answered it last. Well, there were all these questions about love and I knew his answers were mostly about me and I realized I don't want to break up with him! I want to be with him for the rest of forever perhaps with sparkly diamond rings involved (but lets not get ahead of ourselves).
I think that when he finally calls me back, if he ever does (bitch), I'm going to tell him that I was going to break up with him and that I was this | | close so he better get his act together. And then I'm going to tell him I love him and that I want to be with him for the rest of forever. Sigh.
PS If anyone knows of anyone who knows of anyone who would like to be hosted, send them my way. I just love hosting people, it makes me feel like I have friends. AWWW.
Andrea spoke at 08:58 AM

Monday, July 25th

July 25, 05
mood: tired
There's really nothing to blog about but I figure I'll blog anyway just to keep in contact. Yesterday, I lost two of my hostees in one fell swoop or, rather, two emails. They have left me for the big, huge world of domain purchasing.
As far as the house hunt goes, we actually may have found something. You wouldn't believe where it is! There's a house for rent that's really nice right across the street from Nick's house. Nick did alot of work on it himself. There's even an inhabitable attic for moi. I don't wanna move but I'd rather not be homeless either.
The reason I'm up so early (heh 9:00am is early!) is because Nick has a hair appointment at 10:30 and we have to take him. He's gong to get like three inches cut off! I'm so sad, I hate his hair shorter. It makes his head look too small for his body. Does anyone else have that problem? Whenever I straighten my hair super straight my head looks to tiny for my shoulders. Anyway, he's going to JC Penny's instead of his rinky dink hair place so hopefully he'll get some style as well instead of just a cut.
Andrea spoke at 09:29 AM